No updates about Little One, nor do I think I’ll ever get any.
No calls from DHS regarding new placements.
I miss the every day mess and noise of a kiddo in the house. I’ve spent a lot of time walking my dog and watching Lost in Space on Netflix, and listening to the Trolls soundtrack (which was Little One’s favorite).
I’ll leave you with a cute (but infuriating) puppy picture. Moony thought it was a good idea to dig a big muddy hole. He was very proud of himself. I was highly annoyed! My landlord probably won’t be amused. (Can you believe this guy is only 6 months old?! He’s huge!)
The DHS worker showed up around 4 and luckily, brought little brother along. She was SO happy to see him.
“Brother, come see my room!” she squealed excitedly. Oh, Little One. How did she sleep last night in another new room? What will she think when she realizes she isn’t ever coming back to “her room?”
I’m glad she’s with people who know her. I just pray they’re good people who will take good care of them.
I cried this morning as I squeezed water out of bath toys so I could take a shower. When I found crayons and fruit snacks at the bottom of my purse. When I turned around in my car and saw her car seat in the back. They can’t prepare you for these things.
My heart hurts with missing her. With not knowing if I’ll ever see her smiling face again.
Little One’s leaving today. Right now she’s watching Trolls while we wait for someone from DHS to show up and transport her to a provisional home.
We took her to a park this morning and she had a blast. I wish I could share pictures. You’ve never seen a happier kiddo. She laughed and ran and played with abandon.
We haven’t told her she’s leaving, DHS hasn’t given us any details, it’s so hard to communicate uncertainty to a 4 year old.
Last night I made her a small picture album with pictures of her over this last week, pictures of her and us and then some pictures of us so she can remember us. I looked at it with her this morning and she said “Oh, I LOVE this picture book!” I’m glad she’ll have something to remember us by, even if we don’t get to see her again.
This is hard. I shed a LOT of tears yesterday. I sobbed as I walked through the house, collecting her belongings. How did she invade every room of our house so quickly!?
Today I’ve been ok. I’m praying this home is what’s best for her.
It was only a week. Only a week but my heart is forever changed.
“From the ends of the earth, I cry to you for help when my heart is overwhelmed. Lead me to the towering rock of safety.” – Psalm 61:2
Little One is still with us. No further contact or update from DHS yesterday at all. We’re just going to barrel along as if she’s staying, until she isn’t. Gonna keep loving her with all I have.
How do people do this? How do you make plans?
“When you obey my commandments, you remain in my love, just as I obey my Father’s commandments and remain in his love.I have told you these things so that you will be filled with my joy. Yes, your joy will overflow!This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you.There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” – John 15:10-13